It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
