Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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