I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
