It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
