last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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