is your mom at the bar?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
