I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
