One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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