Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
