FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
