oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
