fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
