non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
did you just send me my own nude
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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