I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
