i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
