After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
