made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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