Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
"it" just moved
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
