took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The air taste purple.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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