Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
