i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
