Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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