Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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