Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
