"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
