ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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