Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
