$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
