i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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