so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
