I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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