Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
