dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
