sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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