Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
