Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
