All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
