we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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