You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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