I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
