that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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