That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
