I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think people are normalizing furries
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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