you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
