the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Congratulations! We have a period
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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