forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
