no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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