She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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