this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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