I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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